3 consistency traps: Which one(s) do YOU fall into?
Does the following sound familiar:
You read some advice about managing meltdowns.
Maybe it’s something from one of my Facebook lives …
Maybe it’s in an online forum …
Or maybe you pick up a new strategy from a podcast or book.
You try this advice, and, whadda ya know … It works!
Your kiddo is calmer, more controlled, and the meltdowns reduce …
… for a week or two.
Then, before you know it, things are right back where they were. Or possibly, even worse.
And this strategy that worked so well just a few weeks ago?
Well, now it’s as good as useless!
If that sounds like you, this is super common.
In fact, I rarely meet a parent who’s never had any success with reducing the meltdown cycle.
But nearly everyone I speak to has had some short-term success, and got their hopes up, only to then go right back to square one, and not know why.
And that’s because it’s difficult to work out what is and isn’t working when parenting an HSC.
Which can make staying consistent with your parenting seriously frustrating.
I totally understand that.
But here’s the thing -
No matter how things are -- whether they’re getting better, getting worse, or staying the same -- consistency is VITAL.
If you want a calm, confident kiddo who navigates the meltdown cycle with ease, you gotta stay consistent.
And today, I wanted to share the 3 traps most parents fall into when it comes to consistency.
(By the way, I should add here that this post is specific for parents of kids, NOT teens.
I’m writing this as a two-parter.
So if you’re the parent of a teen reading this, I’ll have something specifically for you next week.)
Trap #1: Losing Momentum
When you first started to take action and make changes with your kiddo, you likely had a big shift in mindset.
You probably felt more positive … Upbeat … And above all - Hopeful!
And this improvement in mood makes it easy to get through the tougher times, and stay consistent with your parenting.
But over time, when progress isn’t 100% plain sailing, and when this little thing called ‘life’ gets in the way, keeping that positivity is harder.
This shift in mood can rub off on your kiddo …
And make it tougher for you to maintain your momentum and consistency.
So I want to encourage you, even if things don’t feel like they’re improving right now, in the long-term, they are …
Provided you keep consistent.
Trap #2: Challenges With Assessing Progress
Parenting an HSC isn’t like losing weight or saving money.
You can’t count pounds lost on the scale.
You can’t count money in the bank.
Your progress measures are much less tangible.
Which can leave you thinking -
“Well, are things really getting better?”
At MTC, we’re big on the idea of ‘breakdowns to break through.’
As in, sometimes things get worse before they get better, and the breakdown is an important part of the process.
But without any kind of progress assessment system, how do you know if this is a ‘breakdown to breakthrough’ moment …
Or simply a case that your strategy isn’t working?
That confusion easily leads to a lack of consistency.
Trap #3: Different Learning Styles
Being on the same page with your partner is vital.
But if you’re the one putting in the effort, and then trying to teach them to do the same, that can be tough.
You can end up coming at problems from different angles.
Which leads to a confused kiddo …
And the two of you feeling isolated, rather than collaborating.
The best way around this?
Well, ideally, it’s for both of you to be singing from the same hymn sheet.
So if you hear a new strategy you want to try, ask your partner to read/ listen to the source, rather than you trying to explain it to them second-hand.
Or better yet, if you’re having coaching, you should both be part of the program.
In fact, this is something we emphasize at MTC.
We know both parents being fully involved isn’t always 100% possible.
At the same time though, we’ve seen the results that happen when parents are equally as committed as each other.
And it’s a game-changer.
Keeping consistent is hard.
But you can have the best tactics or strategies or coaching in the world …
Yet if you’re not consistent, you won’t see long-term improvements with your kiddo.
So regardless of where you’re at right now, never forget the power of consistency.
And if you’re struggling with being consistent?
Whether it’s a case of you needing a tried-and-tested progression system so you know your HSC is definitely making positive changes …
Whether you want something where you and your partner are both on the same page, so you can stop feeling like you’re the only one who’s actually trying …
Or whether you simply want our full and thorough help and support with parenting your HSC …
Our free calls are the first step you need to take.
So set aside some time this week, choose a spot using this link, and we’ll speak to you real soon.
Warmly,
Megghan
