Misconceptions About Highly Sensitive Children (& Why They're Harmful)
I got pretty mad the other day.
It was after a conversation with a client …
And no, it was nothing she’d done.
This gal is a rockstar, and an amazing advocate for her kid.
But I got mad, because of something she told me she’d overheard.
This lady was waiting to pick her child up from school, and was standing just round the corner from a group of other moms.
To protect her identity, I won’t name any names.
But basically, not realizing my client was out of earshot, these other moms were talking about her kid.
And the words ‘weak, shy, and overly emotional’ came up.
Understandably, my client was very upset.
Because no mom wants to hear her kid being talked about like that.
Especially when it’s just not true.
See, the big misconception about HSCs is that they’re weak, because they need extra attention …
That they’re shy, because they often avoid social situations, and keep themselves to themselves …
And that they’re overly emotional, because, well … You don’t need me to explain that one to you!
But these simply aren’t true.
HSCs are actually incredibly resilient, due to the extra challenges they face.
While they might seem shy, it’s perfectly possible to help them be more sociable, outgoing, and even talkative.
And as for the emotions, again, we can help them get their emotions under control, so they don’t have those meltdowns, or outbursts.
But doing that starts with YOU.
I know some parents don’t like to hear that.
They want to hear there’s a ‘push-button’ solution for a calm, confident HSC.
One that requires little work on their part.
But in my mind, hearing that this starts with you is empowering, because then you can have total responsibility in taking the first step.
So how do we do that?
Well, good news —
There’s a simple 3-step process.
CEA.
Challenge.
Educate.
Advocate.
We’ve already covered the challenge aspect.
But to expand a bit, basically you need to take these ‘weaknesses’ and see them not only as traits that can be changed …
But also, as potential strengths.
Because they really CAN be strengths.
Weakness can be resilience.
Shyness can be empathy.
And emotions can be harnessed in the most amazing ways.
As for E and education, you need to educate three people -
Yourself (which you’re doing by reading this email.)
Your child, which you can do on a daily basis, simply by reinforcing how well they’re doing, and coaching them through challenging situations.
And others around you.
If you can get family members, your partner, teachers, and even friends on board, and help them to understand the misconceptions around HSCs …
That makes the whole journey so much easier.
And finally, A - Advocate.
It’s your job to advocate for your child and provide validation and support in the face of harmful stereotypes and misconceptions.
That might mean stepping up for them at school, when the teacher says they’re behaving badly.
It might be with family members, if aunts, or uncles or grandparents start judging them, or you, or your parenting.
And it may even mean speaking up when a group of moms are talking behind your back.
(Note: I’m not saying you should always do this.
It depends on the situation.
All I’m saying is, don’t be afraid to advocate when you need to.)
Ultimately, there are LOTS of negative misconceptions around HSCs.
And it’s up to ALL of us to challenge these.
Only then can we have an easier time in our own journeys …
And make the world a better place for other families with HSCs.
So can we make a deal that we’ll all try to challenge, educate and advocate?
Awesome.
🙂
Remember too, if you need mine or my team’s help with anything …
