Calm in the Storm: Navigating the Preteen Years
Ugh, sometimes it feels like your kiddos age a decade overnight!
It's wild how fast they seem to grow up before your eyes.
One day they're having fun coloring books and playing pretend, and suddenly they're declaring it all "babyish" and "lame"?
It's so confusing trying to keep up with where they're at.
And strategies that used to soothe them when they were younger just don't cut it anymore.
When they're upset about something, the usual response, "it'll be okay" gets them more worked up instead of calming them down like it used to.
But stepping in too heavy-handedly to try and fix things for them also often backfires and drives them away from you.
So what’s a parent to do?!
How do you continue supporting them through the hard and confusing feelings of growing up without inadvertently making it all worse?
It's downright scary not knowing if as they get older, they'll still be willing to open up to you about what's really bothering them.
Or if they'll prefer to handle everything independently.
What if your well-intentioned but misguided pushing and problem-solving actually leads to them pulling further away from you emotionally in the long run?
But take a step back, don’t panic just yet - there are answers here if you're willing to adjust your approach.
Your HSC looks to you for guidance on how to act and feel when the world around them starts to seem a lot scarier and less predictable than it used to.
In those anxiety-inducing moments, your calm and comforting presence means far more to them than anything you say or quick fixes you try to offer.
You've got to meet them where they're truly at emotionally and mentally…
Not where you assume or want them to be, in order to provide the kind of support they really need.
Staying regulated in your own feelings and responses, even when they're spiraling, lets your kid see through your example that intense emotions are survivable.
With patience, empathy, and understanding, you can walk alongside them through the ups and downs until they start to even out again.
They want to believe that everything will work out alright in the end -
You just need to consistently show them, through actions more than just words, that together you've got the capacity to handle whatever comes your way.
It's never too late to re-evaluate your approaches and turn things around to meet the changing needs of your growing HSC.
While you've tried different problem-solving tactics up to this point, making an effort to add some effective strategies to your parenting toolbox will make all the difference.
You just need the right calm, connection-focused tools and techniques in place.
You can be the source of comfort, safety and support they still need you to be during their transitional phase.
This is the first step to giving your kid the emotional support they need.
I'm here to help you, so let's do this together.
My team is ready, we still have some open spots this week.
Grab one here, before they fill up.
Talk soon,
💚 Megghan
