My Sensitive Kid Can’t Handle Praise, Now What?
Giving your child praise can be tricky.
That might sound like a weird thing to say.
Because kids like praise, right?
But how do you know when you’re praising them TOO much?
The truth is, there’s no such thing as ‘too much’ praise …
Provided you’re giving them praise in the right way.
Consistent and meaningful praise boosts your child's self-esteem and promotes positive behavior.
Which calms the outbursts, eliminates meltdowns, and helps them be happy and confident.
But praise needs to be authentic.
Otherwise, your child will pick up that you’re not being sincere.
And all the “well dones” in the world become meaningless.
Likewise, you can’t just layer the praise on thick, 24/7.
You need to offer them criticism, too.
Okay, I don’t mean you just throw in some criticism for the sake of it.
But just like you’d with anyone, you don’t just want to praise your kid for every last thing they do.
And you don’t just want to stay quiet when they make a mistake.
Otherwise, they don’t learn the difference between good and bad.
So while this may sound simple, the BEST thing you can do is give praise when it’s warranted …
… and give constructive criticism when it’s warranted.
However, you might be thinking -
“But Megghan, is praise really THAT important?
Don’t they know when they’ve done the right thing?”
Well … Maybe.
But I can tell you first hand, the parents who get the fastest, best, most long-lasting results with their kids here at MTC, are the ones who perfect the art and science of praise.
Praising at the right time gives positive reinforcement.
This means your kid is more likely to repeat those behaviors in future.
Praise also promotes self-confidence.
Think about it -
When someone you respect gives you genuine praise for something you’ve done, you feel good, and when you have to tackle a similar task again, you do it with more confidence.
It’s no different for your kid.
This confidence isn’t just limited to that one activity, either.
They grow more confident across the board.
Praising strengthens the parent-child bond, too.
If you’re always arguing and yelling, or even just staying silent when your child does something, they’re going to become distant and disconnected.
But when they know you’re paying attention, and they know you care?
The bond between you only grows stronger.
I know that’s a lot to think about.
And it’d be amazing if you could just say “Good job” every now and again, and not have to think more deeply.
But I promise you, over time, this becomes as natural as brushing your teeth.
Take these things on board, and you’ll find your own way of praising your kiddo.
A way that works for both of you.
Where you love seeing them thrive …
And they want to work through challenges, and self-manage their emotions, because they want you to be proud of them.
When you have that kind of relationship, it’s special.
And this is why we’re so proud of the work we do with our clients.
Because parents come to us, genuinely at their wits end.
They’re just not sure what else to do, having exhausted all other options.
Some are looking at pulling their kid out of school.
Others are simply tearing their hair out in frustration.
And some have even considered shipping their kid off to family members.
(I know, you might think that sounds awful, but believe me, I’ve seen how severe some cases are.)
So when we help them make that breakthrough?
It’s magical.
I’ve seen families go from never-ending screaming matches, to spending whole meltdown-free weekends together, with trips to the beach, family movie night, and even meals out.
Kids who’d have a 2-hour meltdown every morning, now HAPPY to go into school.
And parents who were at each other’s throats because they were so stressed, getting back to having date nights together -- their kid perfectly fine being left all evening with a babysitter, or older sibling.
I know these scenarios might sound impossible right now.
Especially if your situation is at DEFCON 5.
But believe me, wherever you’re at, we’ve seen it, and we know how to overcome it.
So getting to grips with giving praise is the first step.
Watching our free training is the second step: https://www.megghanthompsoncoaching.com/b/5-shifts-registration-kid
For families with high school aged teens watch this free training: https://www.megghanthompsoncoaching.com/tb/5-steps-registration
Do that now, before you forget.
