Ok, School's Honeymoon Phase Is Over
Do you ever wonder if your kid is REALLY having a problem at school …
… or if what they’re going through is just a regular struggle that all HSCs face, and it might pass in time?
There’s no doubt about it, parenting a sensitive child is tough.
You know they have needs other kids don’t.
And that you need to bring your A-game, every single day.
But still, sometimes there’s that creeping doubt -
“Should I be doing more … Or do I need to let them figure some of this out on their own?”
You know me -- In my coaching practice, we’re all about giving HSCs the tools, skills and resilience they need to handle whatever life throws at them.
But sometimes, you gotta step in.
Especially if they’re really having problems at school.
The question is -
How do you know?
Well, there’s 3 things to look out for:
#1: Is your kid being singled out?
I’m not talking about your kid getting feedback every now and then for not concentrating, or for acting up.
That’s just kids being kids, and teachers keeping control of their class!
I’m talking about if they’re being constantly picked on.
Is their teacher always singling them out for minor things, like talking too loudly, losing focus, or not getting an answer right?
If so … It might be time to intervene and talk with the school.
See, while teachers mean well …
And while your kiddo does need to learn what’s an acceptable way to behave …
Constant nitpicking from teachers, classroom assistants or even the principal could be setting them back.
For example, one lady in our Facebook group even told us her son had been singled out for kicking the ball too hard, and sent out of the room for sneezing!
Sneezing, for goodness sakes.
I mean, come on!
When you start hearing about stuff like this, it’s time to act.
#2: Shaming
If you’ve been reading my content for any time, you’ll know that shaming is never the way to parent your child.
Unfortunately though, other kids don’t know this.
(And neither do some teachers.)
So if your kiddo’s constantly telling you others are shaming them -- things like picking on them for their reactions, calling them names over and over, or embarrassing them in front of the entire class -- that’s borderline shaming.
It’s not like the first time your kid tells you someone’s said something they didn’t like, you need to drop everything and march down to the school.
But long-term, if they’re being made to feel worthless, or less than, it’s probably time to do something about it.
#3: Stigmatizing
You know there shouldn’t be any stigma with being an HSC …
I know there shouldn’t be any stigma with being an HSC …
But not everyone at your child’s school will know that.
In a way, this kinda links back to my above point about shaming.
But stigma’s a little different, because it often has labels attached to it.
So if your kid comes home saying they’ve been called ‘bad’ or ‘disruptive’ or told off for overreacting, we’d class that as stigmatizing.
Now, you might be thinking -
“Okay Megghan, that’s great and all … But what do I actually DO about this?”
Well, the first thing to realize is, you can only do so much in the school setting.
Your kiddo isn’t the only one at their school.
I don’t say that to be mean … It’s just true!
We want to develop strong, resilient young people.
And that means they need to be able to adapt, rather than having everything in the world change to fit around them.
However, that’s not to say you can’t do anything.
First up, I’d work out how much you can do at home.
What skills can you work through with them, so this stuff doesn’t affect them as much?
Can you explain to them why others might sometimes get angry?
Or re-frame something like name calling, so they understand this is a sign of weakness on the other person’s part, and not an objective truth about them?
Remember, doing this won’t just benefit them at school.
It helps with everything.
Next up, if you feel that isn’t enough, you should be speaking to the school.
You gotta approach this with caution. After all, your kid’s teacher is already stressed, likely has a super high workload, and at least 20 other kids to deal with.
But if you simply ask to have a quick chat with them, explain the situation, and (this bit’s important) - explain how some very small changes in their approach will massively improve your child’s school experience …
That’s a win all around.
Frame this in a way where the teacher understands it’ll create less stress for them, and aid with a calmer, more relaxed classroom environment.
I mean, what teacher wouldn’t want that?
And finally, you can book a call with us.
We understand that sometimes, you can’t do this alone.
Parenting an HSC is challenging, and requires external support and expert help.
That’s what we’re here for.
We’ll guide you through the process.
We’ll help you have those tough conversations -- Whether with your kiddo, their teacher, or the school.
And we can talk about your specific situation and challenges, and decide whether you need to intervene (with our help) … Or you should just let this one play out.
To date, we’ve helped 350+ families with HSCs overcome the meltdowns, fights, arguments and anxiety.
We’d love to help you do the same.
So use this link below, and we’ll speak with you very soon.
Book a call with my team today: https://www.megghanthompsoncoaching.com/talk
For families with high school aged teens: https://www.megghanthompsoncoaching.com/teentalk
