The True Power of a Guilt-Trip

When your child is struggling to control their temper, and throws, kicks or yells, it’s hard to know how to stop the cycle. It doesn’t seem like it should be, but when your efforts to teach your child to stop hitting because it hurts others fall on deaf ears, or creates another outburst, it’s easy to get frustrated and feel lost.

Especially when your child’s second meltdown is because your kiddo is defending their choice to hit… or full of shame, embarrassment and regret about needing to behave differently.  

You wrack your brain on how to teach your child without recreating the meltdown. You know your sensitive kiddo needs to learn to control his body, but you don’t want to teach him at the expense of his self-esteem. 

...But conventional wisdom teaches you to use guilt…

 It may not be your first tool in your toolbox, but if you’re set up in this cycle of trying to teach, creating consequences for the aggressive behavior, and stuck with your child’s denial or sadness after you correct the behavior, only to be left to comfort your child for making the mistake, it’s easy to feel manipulated by your child’s reactions.

So you turn to the power of your relationship: 

...“I’m very disappointed in you.” 

...“I love you but I don’t like you right now.” 

Your child hangs his head or looks away, and you wonder when you’ll ever get through to him. 

The key to breaking this cycle of guilt-based parenting is to focus on WHEN you teach your child to change his behavior. 

If you’re stuck dealing with this after a major blow out or later when you’re angry because you have seen your child hit 3 times in a row without responding to your request to keep his hands to himself, changing when you teach your child helps your child learn when he’s not angry or ashamed. 

He’s more available to absorb the information you share, and you’re not stuck in the habit of using guilt as a last resort.

If you want to know HOW to clearly name your expectations for your child and teach your child effective behavior without sacrificing your child’s self-esteem and your relationship with your kiddo, so that you can tackle any behavior problem confidently and move through your day feeling certain your child is developing the character of a leader, click here to schedule a FREE breakthrough call today.