Why Does My Kid Hate Me?
Grabbing your phone in the middle of the night and googling “Why does my kid hate me?” is an experience that I think all parents of sensitive kids and teens have.
You knew that you would sign up for sleepless nights when your kid was an infant.
But now, you lie awake and ponder questions you never prepared for.
Why does my kid hate me?
Why does my kid hide things from me?
How do I get my kid to tell me what’s wrong?
And the worst part about googling these questions is that you never find answers.
The internet, which can tell you almost anything, cannot tell you about your kid.
You know your kid.
So why can’t you figure out the answer to this one?
There are plenty of reasons why, but to give you the jist:
You’re hurt.
Your feelings are hurt because you are a human, not just a parent.
And you are having trouble sorting through your own feelings to see what is really going on here.
That doesn’t make you a selfish person, or a bad parent.
It simply means that you weren’t prepared the feel these feelings as a parent,
And now you don’t really know what to do with them.
So, being the resourceful parent you are, you research.
“Why does my kid hate me?”
Because you obviously don’t want that.
You may think I’m making a lot of assumptions here,
But I just want to reiterate that you are allowed to have your feelings hurt by your kid.
Now, let’s talk about what your kid REALLY means when they say “I hate you!”
There is a key component to this behavior that you shouldn’t overlook.
And that is the meltdown cycle.
If your kid is screaming at you, running away, hiding their feelings, imploding before your eyes, or exploding with a full body freak out…
And then they say “I hate you!”
This is a symptom of the meltdown cycle.
This is not your kid “telling you how they really feel,”
What this actually is, is a full attempt to get the painful feelings out of THEIR bodies.
The intensity is too much for them, and they are willing to do anything to get it to stop.
So if you are talking to them about something that is triggering these emotions,
They are going to say whatever they can to get you to go away.
They are missing the skills to manage these emotions and reduce the intensity,
And as a result, they don’t have the ability to tell you what is wrong at the moment.
In the meltdown cycle, your kid only has two settings.
Explode.
Or Implode.
If they are already at the point of meltdown,
They are not going to feel regulated enough to tell you what’s really going on.
So what’s the bottom line here?
Your kid doesn’t hate you.
What they do hate is having daily and weekly meltdowns that feel out of control.
And I’m sure you can relate to that,
Because you hate seeing your kid struggle through these enormous emotions.
Nobody was put on this Earth to be miserable.
This goes for you AND your kid.
So how can you reduce the intensity of your child’s emotions?
First, you need a strategy.
You won’t find this on Google, because Google doesn’t know your kid,
YOU need to create a strategy that has measurable results,
Where you can provide feedback to your child,
Show them they can trust your guidance,
Feel confident in handling their feelings,
And know that they are in control of how strong their emotions get.
Next, how can you make this happen?
Book a call with our team of experts.
We've worked with hundreds of families to break the meltdown cycle for good.
There is nothing we haven’t heard before,
And we know that you are seeking an answer to the question that kept you reading up until this point in the first place.
Your kid doesn’t hate you.
And you deserve to feel confident in knowing your child, and breaking the meltdown cycle.
Our team will help you build a strategy that fits your lifestyle,
Helps your child feel more confident about managing their own feelings,
And break the meltdown cycle once and for all.
Book a free call. We’re ready to help you lead your family through the storm so you can finally stop and smell the roses.
Use the link below to book your call today:
megghanthompsoncoaching.com/talk
For families with high school aged teens:
