Teaching Sensitive Kids to avoid People Pleasing

Uncategorized Nov 13, 2024
 

Recently, I had a frustrating experience that really drove home for me the importance of integrity and human connection in both business and parenting.

I had purchased a text watch for my highly sensitive child from a well-known company. 

When I reached out with a question via email, I quickly realized I was communicating with a human who was using AI to simplify their responses.

The AI responses were contradictory and even chastising in tone as I tried to get a straight answer. 

I felt belittled and unheard, all while trying to advocate for my child's needs.

It took me back to a decision I made years ago, when a former mentor suggested I cut labor costs by replacing my master's level team with cheaper, less qualified staff.

I refused because I knew that the heart of my work was building trust with parents of highly sensitive kids. 

And that trust can only come through genuine human connection and deep expertise– and this is something we need to keep in mind as...

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Are you a HSP?

 

Ever wonder if you’re a Highly Sensitive Person?

After coaching thousands of parents, many of whom discover they are Highly Sensitive after joining our signature parent coaching program, I dive deep on this topic on this week’s podcast.

This is one you do not want to miss!

Click here to learn more about Resilience Empowerment Institute: https://www.megghanthompsoncoaching.com/rei

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Should You Lock Up The Candy?

 

Imagine this...

 

It's the day after the fall festivities. Your sensitive child's treat bag is overflowing with candy.

 

They've already had several meltdowns begging for "just one more piece". You've said no multiple times, but the badgering won't stop.

 

You're at your wits end, ready to just lock up the candy stash and be done with it.

 

But you wonder, is that really the best approach? Will restrictions just make candy even more enticing and lead to sneaking treats later?

 

I get it. Food battles with a highly sensitive child can feel like an impossible situation.

 

Traditional approaches like the "one treat a day" rule or hiding the candy often backfire into more obsession, not less.

 

So what's a weary parent to do?

 

Here are 3 key principles to keep in mind:

 

Restriction Leads to Fixation

The more you restrict access to a desired food, the more your child will fixate on it. It becomes like a forbidden fruit. Instead, try to...

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Myth Busting: Stop “Attention Seeking” Seeking Behavior In Sensitive Kids

 

Imagine your child struggling to walk, falling down constantly at home, but miraculously having perfect coordination in public.

 

You wouldn't assume they were just stumbling for attention, right? 

 

You'd know they genuinely needed help building that physical skill.

 

Well, the same is true for emotional skills like regulation and distress tolerance.

 

Meltdown behaviors at home (hitting, kicking, screaming, refusal, shutting down) are a sign of lagging abilities, not a manipulative bid for attention.

 

Just because they can "hold it together" at school doesn't mean the struggle isn't real. 

 

It just means home is a space to let it all out…. (another post for a different day– it’s not because they feel “safe” either.)

 

As parents, our job is to guide them from this emotional crawling stage to confident walking (and eventually running!) with a calm, regulated nervous system.

 

But here's the thing......

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Don’t Parent Alone

 

I want to share a powerful story about one of our clients, a mom of two boys one of which was struggling with 2-3 meltdowns per day.

 

She confided in us that she had been suffering in silence for months, too embarrassed to reach out for help because the meltdowns only happened at home.

 

She thought since her kids held it together in public, it meant they were doing better than if they melted down in front of others.

 

But here's the truth: Meltdowns are meltdowns, regardless of where they happen. And parental isolation due to shame is a hidden symptom of the meltdown cycle.

 

In her case, there were carpool arguments clouding friendships that she chalked up to her boys just needing better social skills… not realizing the two issues were connected.

 

But once she stopped walking on eggshells and started requiring her children to manage their emotions with the tools we taught her, everything changed.

 

He went from multiple meltdowns per day to...

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The #1 Way Attachment Parenting Your Sensitive Kid Can Harm Your Marriage

Are you unknowingly making THIS critical mistake in your parenting that could be destroying your marriage?

 

Many well-meaning parents who practice attachment-focused parenting fall into the trap of coddling their sensitive child.

 

They save their child from ever experiencing negative emotions.

 

They always put their child's needs above their own and their spouse's.

 

They avoid setting any limits, for fear of upsetting their sensitive child.

 

The result? A co-dependent relationship forms between parent and child...

 

And the marriage starts to crumble under the strain.

 

If you're noticing more tension and less connection in your marriage since becoming parents to a sensitive child...

 

This could be the root cause that no one is talking about.

 

I know you love your child deeply and want to raise them with a secure attachment.

 

But it doesn't have to come at the cost of your marriage or your own emotional well-being.

 

...

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Help Your Sensitive Kid Take Ownership Of Their Behavior And Receive Constructive Feedback

 

As a parent of a sensitive child, you know the heartache of watching them meltdown over seemingly small bits of constructive feedback.

 

It's painful to see your kid react so strongly, and not know how to help them calmly receive guidance to grow.

 

Here's what most parenting experts won't tell you:

 

Your own ability to take feedback is directly tied to your sensitive child's ability to do the same.

 

Let me explain.

 

When you receive constructive feedback yourself, what's your own internal self-talk?

 

Do you default to "Suck it up, this is no big deal" or "See? You really do just suck at this"?

 

If so, you're accidentally invalidating the very real emotional pain that comes with personal growth - for both you and your child.

 

You see, sensitive children are deeply attuned to their parents' every micro-expression and unstated belief.

 

So when you can't compassionately accept your own growth feedback, they subconsciously learn that...

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Helping Your Sensitive Kid Accept Responsibility

A little tooth sensitivity is easy to brush off. "It's not a big deal," you think.

 

But beneath the surface, decay is silently eating away at the root.

 

By the time you're wincing in pain with every bite, that little cavity is now a big, expensive root canal.

Can you imagine parenting like that? Of course you would never neglect your kid’s tooth pain.

 

Quick question– why are you ignoring your own exhaustion as a parent, treating it like a neglected toothache?

What does this have to do with teaching your child to take responsibility for their actions?

 

Your sensitive child's daily meltdowns are just like emotional cavities, eroding their resilience at the root.

 

Fill them now before you're facing an emotional extraction that didn't have to happen.

 

Here are 3 crucial shifts to help your child take responsibility and end the meltdown cycle for good:

 

Emphasize their genuine problem-solving abilities.

Sensitive kids are incredibly...

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Raising Resourceful Sensitive Kids Who Can Make It In The Workforce

 

Let's be real - if your sensitive child is having daily meltdowns, it's a glaring sign they haven't yet developed a resourceful identity.

 

Resourcefulness is non-negotiable for your child's lifelong success and happiness. It's the key to resilience.

 

If your child can't creatively solve problems or stay present when upset, they're stuck in the meltdown cycle. 

 

And that cycle won't end on its own.

 

When they refuse options and meltdown instead of problem-solving, they're telling you they need help rewiring their brain for resilience.

 

That's exactly what we do in our latest parent training.

 

We'll show you exactly what’s getting in the way when you try to help your child:

 

  • Stay present and process big feelings without outbursts 
  • Creatively solve problems instead of melting down
  • Feel truly heard and understood by you
  • Open up without fear or shame
  • Strengthen their resourceful identity for life

 

This training is not just...

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How To Help Your Sensitive Kid To Open Up To You

 

As a parent of a highly sensitive child, you know the daily struggle of trying to get your kiddo to open up about their big feelings without triggering a meltdown.

 

It's easy to fall into the trap of thinking:

"My child just won't talk to ME about their emotions. They must need a professional to teach them how to self-regulate."

 

I get it. When your attempts at emotional coaching lead to more shut down than breakthrough, it's tempting to outsource the job to a therapist.

 

But here's the truth: YOU are the exact right person to guide your child to emotional mastery. And trying to delegate that role can actually backfire.

 

Here's why:

  • Emotional intelligence is caught, not taught.

  • Your child learns to manage feelings by watching how YOU do it. A therapist can't model this 24/7.

  • Attunement is the key to emotional safety.

  • No one knows your child's unique triggers and sensitivities like you do. That attunement is essential for true emotional growth.

  • ...

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