The Number 1 Belief Keeping You Stuck This Holiday Season

 

Any parent of an HSC knows, the holiday season can be a NIGHTMARE.

Whether it’s overstimulation at family parties 


Disappointment surrounding gifts 


Or just the change from day-to-day routine 


There’s so much happening that can trigger a meltdown.

So it’s totally understandable why a lot of the parents I speak to dread this time of year.

While other parents are putting up the tree, buying gifts and enjoying their kids’ excitement 


HSC parents are preparing for a month of ups, downs and never-ending stress.

So what can we do about this?

I mean, you want to enjoy the holidays, right? Not just survive them.

Well, the important thing to remember is, your HSC has a big heart.

So whatever stress you’re feeling about catching up with family you’ve not seen for a year, or being in different environments 


You can triple that, and you’re probably only halfway to what your HSC is feeling.

But here’s what I want you to think about -

While it may be tougher for them, you owe it t...

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Why You Keep Thinking Your Child’s Progress Is a Fluke

I just got off a heartbreaking call.

I was speaking with a family who were ready to ship their 10-year old daughter off to her Aunt’s house 
 Permanently!

This Mom and Dad were at their wits end.

Because they couldn’t imagine 8 more years of parenting stress.

Especially when their daughter was such an angel outside the house.

But at home?

They were being torn apart.

Sadly, I’ve heard things like this many times before.

And if I’m honest, I don’t think these parents would have abandoned their daughter like that.

But unfortunately, when you get to this level, it also tells me something else -

They’d emotionally checked out of parenting.

They’d all but given up on having a relationship with their child.

And when you’re in this spot?

It’s like death by 1,000 tiny cuts.

Because every day breeds more resentment 
 More frustration 
 And more guilt.

And knowing you’ve given up on your child eats you alive.

This is why I’m so open and honest in these emails.

Because we need to ...

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Rewriting Our Family's Story: Savannah & Alan

hsc parenting Nov 23, 2022
 

This week we are sharing an interview that has been impactful for many of our audience.

If it feels like your HSC is down in the dumps more than the average kid,

You’ll want to hear this.

You are not alone.

Our client Savannah knows exactly how that feels, and that feeling was HARD to work through.

Savannah’s story is common for parents who are stuck in the meltdown cycle.

She wanted to be a mom for such a long time,

And the fact that her child seemed melancholy SO often was disheartening.

She describes her HSC as feeling upset and on edge constantly,
Crying often,
And even stated that there was a lack of connection.

She felt like no matter how much she and Alan tried,
They could not meet their HSC’s needs.

She also felt like she could not help her child in the midst of a meltdown.

And that was really discouraging.

In Savannah’s words, “I felt helpless. I was failing myself and my daughter.”

On top of this, she was dealing with her own guilt of being embarrassed by the meltd...

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Is a Mental Health Diagnosis Necessary for my HSC?

hsc parenting Nov 16, 2022

As a society, we love to put labels on things.

Whether it’s labeling people as ‘good’ or ‘bad’ 


Labeling foods as ‘healthy’ or ‘unhealthy’ 


Or putting labels on kids who don’t conform exactly to what’s expected of them.

This comes up a lot in my private practice.

Parents either come in because their kiddo has been displaying HSC-like behavior, and they think they need a diagnosis 


Or they’ve already been to another specialist, who’s diagnosed their kid with a medical condition.

(The one I hear most is ODD -- Oppositional Defiant Disorder -- which basically says your child is difficult, hostile and ‘broken.’

You can imagine just how riled up labeling a kid like that makes me!

But we’ll leave that story for another day.)

Anyway, I can understand why getting a diagnosis might give parents some comfort.

After all, if you went to the doctor with unexplained stomach pain, you’d want them to give you a concrete reason for that, right?

You’d want a diagnosis.

But in HSCs, most ...

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I Don’t Understand My Kid
 How Big of a Problem Is That?

 

Most parents have times when they just don’t ‘get’ their child.

And most kids think their parents are weird, too.

That’s just life!

But when you’re parenting an HSC, that disconnect can feel 100 times greater.

In fact, this is something I hear from the parents I work with a lot.

Deep down, they know a certain level of disconnect is normal.

Because when they were teens, their parents didn’t ‘get’ them.

But despite this, they start second guessing themselves -

“Surely I should have something in common with my child?”

“Is it really normal that we’re this disconnected?”

“What if the gap grows even more, and they end up resenting me, hating me, or simply drifting away?”

It’s tough, because this kind of thinking has severe consequences.

And it only gets worse as your HSC goes from a kid to a teen.

You start to criticize yourself, and wonder what you’re doing wrong.

Or maybe in order to get your child’s buy-in, you give them more independence than you’d like, in the hope it gets...

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Are You Spoiling Your HSC?

Have you ever been mid-meltdown with your kiddo, only to hear someone remark -

“Kids these days!”

Or maybe you’ve been with family, and they mention something about being ‘spoiled.’

If so, I feel your pain.

Here you are, doing your best to keep the situation under control, only to have someone judge your parenting.

Even if the person saying it is well meaning, it still sucks.

Because they have no idea what you’re going through.

And as you know, comments like this are not helpful.

But do they have a point?

Is modern US culture to blame for your child’s struggles?

Or have you been spoiling them, and that’s why you’re dealing with emotional outbursts, high levels of anxiety, and a kid who struggles with things other children take in their stride?

Short answer 


No, you’re not spoiling them.

Friends and family (particularly older generations) often see an HSC and assume they’re like this because they’ve not been given enough discipline 


Or you’ve let them get away with bad b...

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Halloween: Is It Really the Sugars and Dyes You Should Fear?

 

I’m not a nutritionist.

And I’m not a dietitian.

But one thing I do know is that what your kid eats can have a huge impact on their behavior.

It makes sense, right?

I mean, we know as adults, if we eat crap 
 We feel like crap!

And if we eat good, healthy, nutritious foods, we have better focus, more energy, and actually want to do things.

Same goes for your kiddo.

Managing their nutrition can be tough at the best of times though.

And with Halloween just around the corner, I know a lot of parents are going to be seriously worried.

We see it every year in my Facebook group.

The questions come flooding in:

“My child loves Halloween, but I’m dreading the way she’ll behave after eating all that candy.”

“Should I let them go trick or treating with friends? They so want to go, but I know the after effects won’t be pretty.”

“We generally try to keep my son away from sugar, but it’s so difficult around Halloween.

Should we stick to our guns and risk a meltdown because he’s angry,...

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I Can’t Believe Professionals Get This so WRONG.

Ever heard a professional talk about how it’s a good thing for your kiddo to “get their emotions out?”

By which they mean scream, yell and have a meltdown.

They’ll say things like -

“Well, they’re opening up to you, and telling you how they really feel.”

Or they might say it’s taking the lid off a pressure cooker, to reduce the tension.

In theory, this might make sense.

But here’s the thing -

This approach is like teaching your child how to digest food by making them vomit!

Now, I know that’s a gross analogy, but go with me for a minute.

You’d never tell your kiddo that throwing up after a meal was a sign of healthy digestion.

If that started happening, you’d look for a solution, FAST.

Well, it’s the same for their emotions.

You don’t want your HSC to vomit up their emotions 


You want them to ‘digest’ them.

Why?

Because while we want our kids to express themselves, and to feel comfortable to tell us how they really feel 


We also want to encourage them to have emotiona...

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Sensory Issues Causing Struggles?

hsc parenting Oct 13, 2022
 

A stressed out Mom posted this in our Facebook group recently:

“Has anyone else ever discovered clothing to be a really hard issue with your HSC?”

“I’m about to lose my mind finding clothing that works and my son will wear. Does anyone have any tips?

I just ordered the same exact pants he’s worn for months and he put them on and immediately threw them off because they didn’t feel right.

I’m thinking maybe because they were new and hadn’t been washed a ton of times yet?”

Now, I know this is a common issue, because we see it in our coaching practice a lot.

But I gotta be honest, the response to the post shocked me.

Because even I was amazed how many parents said they deal with this, too.

From issues like not wanting to wear anything new, because it felt weird 


To refusing to wear any socks with seams 


Even not wanting to wear clothes that were too dirty 
 Or too clean!

People were commenting like there was no tomorrow.

It’s a big issue.

Not only because you want your kiddo...

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Meltdowns Making You Embarrassed?

Do you ever feel embarrassed by your kid’s behavior?

If so 
 You’re not alone.

Being embarrassed is a normal part of parenting.

But with an HSC, that embarrassment can be on another level.

Not only do embarrassing situations crop up more frequently 


They can also be way more intense.

So it’s normal to spend a lot of your time feeling red-faced, ashamed, and worrying that everyone’s looking at you.

Or worse 
 Judging you.

Believe me, here at my coaching practice, we’ve heard it all.

From kids ramming carts into displays when grocery shopping, because they didn’t get their way 


To having screaming incidents in the middle of church 


Or even cursing at random strangers.

And, while most kids grow out of this naturally, that’s definitely not the case with HSCs.

Even the smaller stuff, like refusing to compete in sports, or not showing you any affection while other kids are giving their Moms and Dads hugs and kisses can make you embarrassed.

Because you might feel like you’re...

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