Here at MTC we understand that parenting can be one of the most rewarding, yet challenging experiences in life.
When your child is struggling with mental health issues, it can be especially difficult and overwhelming.
If you're reading this, you may be in a situation similar to what Rachel and Ash experienced with their HSC.
Their kiddo was suicidal, wishing to die, yelling, freezing up, and refusing to go to school.
Rachel & Ash went to countless therapists and tried many approaches, but nothing seemed to work.
They were at their wits end and didn't know what to do.
They were worried about their child’s safety and well-being, and they were also struggling to manage the rest of their family and their own stress and emotions.
But there is hope, Rachel and Ash found our program.
After working with us and implementing our strategies of playful parenting, systematic shame-free feedback, and prioritizing calm in the routine, they were able to...
Any parent of an HSC knows, the holiday season can be a NIGHTMARE.
Whether it’s overstimulation at family parties …
Disappointment surrounding gifts …
Or just the change from day-to-day routine …
There’s so much happening that can trigger a meltdown.
So it’s totally understandable why a lot of the parents I speak to dread this time of year.
While other parents are putting up the tree, buying gifts and enjoying their kids’ excitement …
HSC parents are preparing for a month of ups, downs and never-ending stress.
So what can we do about this?
I mean, you want to enjoy the holidays, right? Not just survive them.
Well, the important thing to remember is, your HSC has a big heart.
So whatever stress you’re feeling about catching up with family you’ve not seen for a year, or being in different environments …
You can triple that, and you’re probably only halfway to what your HSC is feeling.
But here’s what I...
I just got off a heartbreaking call.
I was speaking with a family who were ready to ship their 10-year old daughter off to her Aunt’s house … Permanently!
This Mom and Dad were at their wits end.
Because they couldn’t imagine 8 more years of parenting stress.
Especially when their daughter was such an angel outside the house.
But at home?
They were being torn apart.
Sadly, I’ve heard things like this many times before.
And if I’m honest, I don’t think these parents would have abandoned their daughter like that.
But unfortunately, when you get to this level, it also tells me something else -
They’d emotionally checked out of parenting.
They’d all but given up on having a relationship with their child.
And when you’re in this spot?
It’s like death by 1,000 tiny cuts.
Because every day breeds more resentment … More frustration … And more guilt.
And knowing you’ve given up on your child eats you alive.
This...
Most parents have times when they just don’t ‘get’ their child.
And most kids think their parents are weird, too.
That’s just life!
But when you’re parenting an HSC, that disconnect can feel 100 times greater.
In fact, this is something I hear from the parents I work with a lot.
Deep down, they know a certain level of disconnect is normal.
Because when they were teens, their parents didn’t ‘get’ them.
But despite this, they start second guessing themselves -
“Surely I should have something in common with my child?”
“Is it really normal that we’re this disconnected?”
“What if the gap grows even more, and they end up resenting me, hating me, or simply drifting away?”
It’s tough, because this kind of thinking has severe consequences.
And it only gets worse as your HSC goes from a kid to a teen.
You start to criticize yourself, and wonder what you’re doing wrong.
Or maybe in order to...
Have you ever been mid-meltdown with your kiddo, only to hear someone remark -
“Kids these days!”
Or maybe you’ve been with family, and they mention something about being ‘spoiled.’
If so, I feel your pain.
Here you are, doing your best to keep the situation under control, only to have someone judge your parenting.
Even if the person saying it is well meaning, it still sucks.
Because they have no idea what you’re going through.
And as you know, comments like this are not helpful.
But do they have a point?
Is modern US culture to blame for your child’s struggles?
Or have you been spoiling them, and that’s why you’re dealing with emotional outbursts, high levels of anxiety, and a kid who struggles with things other children take in their stride?
Short answer …
No, you’re not spoiling them.
Friends and family (particularly older generations) often see an HSC and assume they’re like this because they’ve not...
I’m not a nutritionist.
And I’m not a dietitian.
But one thing I do know is that what your kid eats can have a huge impact on their behavior.
It makes sense, right?
I mean, we know as adults, if we eat crap … We feel like crap!
And if we eat good, healthy, nutritious foods, we have better focus, more energy, and actually want to do things.
Same goes for your kiddo.
Managing their nutrition can be tough at the best of times though.
And with Halloween just around the corner, I know a lot of parents are going to be seriously worried.
We see it every year in my Facebook group.
The questions come flooding in:
“My child loves Halloween, but I’m dreading the way she’ll behave after eating all that candy.”
“Should I let them go trick or treating with friends? They so want to go, but I know the after effects won’t be pretty.”
“We generally try to keep my son away from sugar, but it’s so difficult around Halloween.
...
Ever heard a professional talk about how it’s a good thing for your kiddo to “get their emotions out?”
By which they mean scream, yell and have a meltdown.
They’ll say things like -
“Well, they’re opening up to you, and telling you how they really feel.”
Or they might say it’s taking the lid off a pressure cooker, to reduce the tension.
In theory, this might make sense.
But here’s the thing -
This approach is like teaching your child how to digest food by making them vomit!
Now, I know that’s a gross analogy, but go with me for a minute.
You’d never tell your kiddo that throwing up after a meal was a sign of healthy digestion.
If that started happening, you’d look for a solution, FAST.
Well, it’s the same for their emotions.
You don’t want your HSC to vomit up their emotions …
You want them to ‘digest’ them.
Why?
Because while we want our kids to express themselves, and to feel...
Do you ever feel embarrassed by your kid’s behavior?
If so … You’re not alone.
Being embarrassed is a normal part of parenting.
But with an HSC, that embarrassment can be on another level.
Not only do embarrassing situations crop up more frequently …
They can also be way more intense.
So it’s normal to spend a lot of your time feeling red-faced, ashamed, and worrying that everyone’s looking at you.
Or worse … Judging you.
Believe me, here at my coaching practice, we’ve heard it all.
From kids ramming carts into displays when grocery shopping, because they didn’t get their way …
To having screaming incidents in the middle of church …
Or even cursing at random strangers.
And, while most kids grow out of this naturally, that’s definitely not the case with HSCs.
Even the smaller stuff, like refusing to compete in sports, or not showing you any affection while other kids are giving their Moms and Dads hugs and...
Megan and her husband Paul were at their wits end and had run through three different therapists in two years!
They were starting to think that their five year old was just going to be one of those kids that just isn't parentable, until they stumbled upon our work and had a call with us.
In that conversation, they learned what was possible and what was available to their family.
Megan & Paul were able to do the work to break out of the pattern of daily, multiple times a day meltdown cycle with their daughter that they have been dealing with since she was 18 months old.
I'm not here to tell you that it was easy.
Megan and Paul were skeptical of our work together for several weeks into the program.
Yet they still were able to achieve the results we're talking about.
We're here to support you and make this simple but it doesn't mean that it’ll be easy.
Breaking out of this pattern requires you to change the way that you think about your...
Thinking of taking your HSC to therapy?
If so … Don’t do ANYTHING until you read this blog.
Now, I want to preface this by saying, I never make sensationalist comments for the sake of it.
That’s not my style.
I want to give you help and advice, not be ‘controversial’ in order to generate engagement.
That’s why you know I’m being deadly serious when I say that therapy could be ruining your child’s emotional intelligence.
Whether we’re talking about ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis) …
PCIT (Parent-Child Interaction Therapy) …
Or even something like sticker charts …
None of these help to eliminate meltdowns.
Why?
Well, traditional therapy uses a reward structure.
It rewards good behavior, and punishes bad behavior.
You might do that when you’re training a dog … But not when you’re parenting your kiddo.
The problem with this approach is that it focuses purely on stopping the symptom.
Let’s...
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