I just got off the phone with a parent who was angry after I asked him to express how his child’s emotions are affecting him.  

It was heartbreaking. 

Not because he was angry with the conversation, but because he did not understand how getting clear on his emotions were the key to unlocking the pain of his child’s meltdowns.

The myth that you can help your child just by focusing on the goal (better communication, no meltdowns, change motivation to complete homework, etc.) is one society teaches you a lot.  

When we acknowledge our own understanding of our child’s meltdowns, and get clear on what we believe to be the true cause, we can shift our perspective.

You are riddled with advice on what to do to fix your problems parenting your HSC. It’s all over the internet. Pinterest posters about emotions; lesson plans on social skills; emotional growth mindset workbooks, free printable from mommy bloggers who want to help you connect with your...

Two parents, two different plans, two different perspectives about parenting your HSC…  I hear from parents all the time that they disagree on how to parent their Highly Sensitive Child. 

This makes the problem worse because Highly Sensitive Children, as all children do, thrive on consistency. The bigger problem is when both parents differ, but only one parent sees there’s a problem that needs to be solved. 

When we take a closer look at why this is, we have to notice a big difference between the parents who succeed at solving this problem and the parents who stay stuck. 

Now, I have to caveat this— both parents, when they’re ready to fix this, KNOW it needs to be fixed, but often disagree on the how, this isn’t a problem that leads to feeling stuck— those parents often take action to solve the problem and know following a proven system allows them to do so without the headache and missed opportunities it costs to figure this...

A typical pattern we hear from parents working to help their child end the meltdown cycle is to focus on their child’s coping skills. 

When you’re in the middle of surviving this cycle you can get stuck in throwing things at the wall to see what sticks…

…So, here’s what the cycle looks like: your child has a meltdown.

You try to help them through it.

While they’re melting down, you’re teaching them to use a skill, and they refuse to use it in the moment…

So, you try to talk about it later…

…and when the next meltdown comes, your child refuses again, and you do it all over again… and again… and again… for all eternity… 

…it seriously feels like it will be, because when you feel this reactive, it’s jarring to think about how your child would ever stop their meltdown behavior.

When your child isn’t consistent with their coping skills it’s quite frustrating to...

I’m going to speak to you as a wife for a second… My husband has NO parenting expertise. 

I have had to overcome several myths to get us on the same page, the very same ones I helped my clients through early on in my career, before I just simply made a decision to not buy into the story from one parent that the other wasn’t committed. 

Once I made that decision, I stopped hearing from parents that one was less committed than the other.

Once I had a kid, however, I had to remember these decisions and apply them to my husband. Because, as you know, professional and personal lives are different.

So, I did the work. 

When you’re dealing with ending the daily meltdown cycle, it’s important to BELIEVE with every fiber of your being that your spouse wants to live a different life than what you’re living right now. 

It’s your turn:

#1 

MYTH:: Your partner is certain their way “works”.

FACT: Your partner knows...

For many, this year has been a whirlwind of intense emotions, loss, grief and disruption. And many opportunities of growth have posed themselves for parents.

In that avenue, this year has been one of witnessing hundreds of parents reaching out for help, accessing it,  setting their sensitive children up for success while simultaneously learning how to set boundaries for themselves.  A feat for parents of sensitive children to begin with, and in a pandemic, an even bigger achievement.

Now more than ever, your children are looking to you to see how they can respond to fear.

Your priority as a parent is to stay strong, guide yourselves, and focus on love as we lead our children to manage emotions from a place of compassion.

This disruption to the family dynamic while the country creates safety in a pandemic isn’t going away for many months. If your child isn’t emotionally available for learning in a new setting, they can fall further behind in their schooling as...

I wanted to talk today about a common misconception that a lot of my HSC parent clients face when they think about teaching their child responsibility and follow-through (and to just freakin' get ready on time).

Look, as someone who grew up getting paid for her A’s on report cards, it’s hard for me to write this because cash in the bank felt good in my childhood/teen years, (despite having my first job at age 12). But what we as parents don’t often realize, is that these rewards (be it stickers, money, prize boxes or praise) actually lead to long term struggle.

The logic makes sense on the surface. Work hard, get a reward, work hard again, get another reward, etc. Parents suppose that it will help build a connection that hard work reaps benefits, makes you feel good inside, and builds self-esteem and a sense of feeling capable. What this pattern actually leads to, however, is the exact opposite.

Highly sensitive kids are especially vulnerable to...

As parents, we know the importance of watching our budgets to make sure our family's financial needs are met.  But I also know parents of highly sensitive children are considering more than just money when it comes to raising their child.

You're watching the minutes tick by while your child continues to meltdown, knowing you will be late for work again.  You're seeing the pile of clothes laying in their closest because they “just don't feel right” to your kiddo.  You know how much energy you lose every time another meltdown starts.

But do you ever consider what this is costing your highly sensitive child?

Today, I'm discussing three different costs that you probably haven't considered when it comes to raising a highly sensitive child.

1. Life Experiences 

When your highly sensitive child is melting down once or twice a day, you already know the hours that are being lost. But what about the EXPERIENCES that are being lost?  I'm not talking about...

I hear this from parents I speak to all of the time, and my calls with the last several parents who enrolled in my bootcamp solidified my need to talk about this.

And it’s a tough one to say out loud since I am a therapist and I love my profession, and I love supervising and teaching therapists, and it’s also true that there are a ton of therapists out there who don’t know jack about how to work with highly sensitive children.

So that leaves you…

Dropping your kid off for therapy thinking this will decrease their anger.

Wondering if the person you’re sending your kid to knows exactly how freakin’ frustrating it is to deal with your kid on the daily.

Feeling like a sh*t parent because your kid’s therapist’s suggestions are just NOT going to work for your family.

Feeling like a sh*t parent because you can imagine these suggestions would work for the parents of the other kids this therapist works with.

The list goes on.

So now...