Avoiding Punishments=Passive Parenting?

 

It’s time for the showdown to end all showdowns 


To settle a debate that’s raging in the world of HSC parenting 


And for the gloves to come off, once and for all.

Because the question is -

What’s the BEST way to parent an HSC - With passive parenting, or with punishment?

Before I reveal which one you need to prioritize, let me give a little bit of background.

Passive parenting (or gentle parenting) involves taking a step back, and not getting overly emotionally-involved when your kid is having a meltdown, or struggling to cope.

There’s a definite benefit to this.

I mean, we know that if your child is highly charged, the last thing you want to be is highly charged, too.

But at the same time, passive parenting can lead to a lack of boundaries.

You end up being physically present 
 But mentally absent.

Parents who do this fail to provide the emotional support, guidance and attention their child needs.

They treat their child as fragile.

And that only worsens the meltdown cyc...

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Simple Steps to Build Social Skills With Your HSC

Do you DREAD family parties?

Does the thought of being invited out for a meal send you into a whirlwind of stress?

And would you rather do just about anything than navigate a new social situation with your child?

If you’re reading this, I’m guessing your answers to the above were “Yes, yes, and a great big 
 YES!”

That’s because dealing with social situations when you have an HSC is tough.

Doesn’t matter if we’re talking about a big family party 


A smaller, more intimate meal or cookout 


Or even just playdates with one other kid.

Any parent of an HSC knows just how stressful these can be.

You’ve probably turned down more invites than you want to think about.

Or left places early so many times, people have stopped even bothering to ask you out anymore.

But the worst thing about all this?

The shame you can feel as your kid goes into a meltdown, or struggles to cope when others are around.

And hey, there’s nothing at all to be ashamed about here 


But still, you get self-c...

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Misconceptions About Highly Sensitive Children (& Why They're Harmful)

 

I got pretty mad the other day.

It was after a conversation with a client 


And no, it was nothing she’d done.

This gal is a rockstar, and an amazing advocate for her kid.

But I got mad, because of something she told me she’d overheard.

This lady was waiting to pick her child up from school, and was standing just round the corner from a group of other moms.

To protect her identity, I won’t name any names.

But basically, not realizing my client was out of earshot, these other moms were talking about her kid.

And the words ‘weak, shy, and overly emotional’ came up.

Understandably, my client was very upset.

Because no mom wants to hear her kid being talked about like that.

Especially when it’s just not true.

See, the big misconception about HSCs is that they’re weak, because they need extra attention 


That they’re shy, because they often avoid social situations, and keep themselves to themselves 


And that they’re overly emotional, because, well 
 You don’t need me to expla...

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Homework Problems

Screaming and shouting 


Yelling in your face and telling you they hate you 


Slamming doors, punching walls, and throwing books all over the room 


If any of these happen the minute you try to get your kid to do homework -

Welcome to the world of parenting an HSC!

Most of us didn’t like homework when we were at school.

And maybe we tried everything we could to get out of it, or chose to leave that book report or calculus revision ‘til the very last minute 


But we all kinda sucked it up, and accepted homework as a necessary evil.

That doesn’t happen with HSC kids though.

And actually, I hear of truly terrible situations, every single day, in my Facebook group.

I’ve heard about parents being threatened.

Or school books being ripped up in protest.

Angry phone calls home from teachers, demanding to know why this week’s assignment wasn’t done.

And even if your kid doesn’t have a full-blown meltdown, sometimes simply seeing the struggle they go through and the frustration they...

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Why You Need to Make It a Priority to Manage Your Mindset When Parenting a Highly Sensitive Child

 

There’s something NO ONE is talking about when it comes to parenting highly sensitive children.

Neglecting this one thing is a surefire way to keep you stuck in the meltdown cycle 


With a kid who stays unpredictable and volatile 


Leaving you tiptoeing around, worried about what to say 24/7 


And making you feel like you’re doing something “wrong.”

What one thing am I talking about?

Mindset.

I don’t mean your kiddo’s mindset either.

I mean your mindset.

Now, you might be thinking -

“But Megghan, what does MY mindset have to do with ending the meltdown cycle, and helping my child be calm, confident and sociable?”

Well 
 A LOT!

Mindset is something we place a big emphasis on at MTC.

And for good reason.

Because we’ve seen just how amazing the outcomes are when parents stop trying to ‘fix’ their kid, and start working on their own mindset first.

But if you’re on the fence and still not convinced, here are 4 reasons why you need to work on your own mindset:

1. Mindset Work...

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5 Things You Can Do to Break Out of the Shutdown/irritability Cycle

Ever feel like you’re walking on eggshells at home?

One moment, your HSC is calm, loving and content 


The next, they’re in full-blown meltdown mode 


And then soon after, they totally shut down?

If so, let me tell you something -

This is expected in the meltdown cycle.

In the world of HSCs, going from one emotion to another super quickly isn’t uncommon at all.

We call this “The shutdown/ irritability cycle.”

Just because it’s expected though, doesn’t make it any easier to deal with.

And it definitely doesn’t mean you can’t do anything about the stress this causes, either.

Because if we’re being totally honest, you don’t want to feel like you’re constantly walking on eggshells at home, right?

Worried that you might say or do something that triggers a meltdown.

Or send them into shutdown mode.

Or that you may use the wrong parenting approach for a given situation, because you haven’t realized your kiddo’s mood has totally switched.

That’s no way for you to live 


And it’s...

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The Effect of the Meltdown Cycle on Your Non-Sensitive Kids

 

Growing up, I wasn’t a highly sensitive child 


But I was the sibling of a highly sensitive child.

See, people often wonder why I got into the work I do at MTC.

And while it’s because my passion truly is helping parents and kids in this situation, it’s also down to my personal experience.

I want to preface this by saying that I have an amazing relationship with my parents.

They’re kind, loving people, and we get on great.

But looking back, knowing what I know now, there were things in my childhood that definitely weren’t optimal, and had a negative impact on me as I grew up.

That’s why I wanted to write today’s blog.

Parenting an HSC is super tough.

Parenting an HSC and a non-HSC is even tougher.

Because it’s such a balancing act.

And clearly, you can’t use the exact same strategy for both kids.

So what can you do?

Well, let me share with you the 4 “lessons” I learned being parented in a traditional household alongside an HSC:

(By the way, the word ‘lessons’ is a bit of a...

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3 Reasons Your Family Members Judge Your Parenting

Something that comes up a LOT in my Facebook group is judgment.

We get parents posting almost every day about how family members simply can’t stop criticizing or passing comments on their parenting styles.

Which sucks.

Because there you are, doing the work needed to help your kiddo end the meltdown cycle, develop vital social skills, and grow into a calm, confident young adult 


And you’re getting unnecessary comments from others who feel the need to get involved!

Now, I want to preface this by saying, I understand why family members can be critical.

I mean, we all go on our own journeys, right?

And when something is a little bit ‘different’ it can be scary.

But at the same time, feeling like others judge you just isn’t nice.

It can make you second guess and doubt yourself.

So to help you out with this, I wanted to explain the 3 main reasons why your family might be upset with your shift in parenting style.

First up, they simply don’t understand the science.

For many family...

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Three Consistency Traps (Part 2)

 

Being the parent of a teenager is never easy.

But when your teen is highly sensitive 


Well, that adds a whole other level of complexity.

If you’re a parent of a teen though, and you read my post last week about the importance of consistency with highly-sensitive kids, maybe you’re thinking -

“Well, Megghan’s advice there should work for us, too.”

Stop right now!

There’s a BIG difference between the 3 things parents of younger kids need to do for consistency, compared to parents of teens.

That’s why, if you have a kid between 13 and 19 (or even just a little outside of this range,) you need to read today’s blog carefully.

Because I’m about to reveal the 3 consistency traps that keep teen parents stuck.

Trap #1: Parents Not Being on the Same Page

With most things in your relationship, one spouse will take more of an active role.

Whether it’s things like household chores 


Buying groceries 


Or home improvements and tending to the yard.

But when this happens with parenting ...

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3 consistency traps: Which one(s) do YOU fall into?

Does the following sound familiar:

You read some advice about managing meltdowns.

Maybe it’s something from one of my Facebook lives 


Maybe it’s in an online forum 


Or maybe you pick up a new strategy from a podcast or book.

You try this advice, and, whadda ya know 
 It works!

Your kiddo is calmer, more controlled, and the meltdowns reduce 



 for a week or two.

Then, before you know it, things are right back where they were. Or possibly, even worse.

And this strategy that worked so well just a few weeks ago?

Well, now it’s as good as useless!

If that sounds like you, this is super common.

In fact, I rarely meet a parent who’s never had any success with reducing the meltdown cycle.

But nearly everyone I speak to has had some short-term success, and got their hopes up, only to then go right back to square one, and not know why.

And that’s because it’s difficult to work out what is and isn’t working when parenting an HSC.

Which can make staying consistent with your paren...

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